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The Sunday Talk Given by Anil Kumar
“Vaikuntha Ekadasi”
Part II
OM… OM… OM…
Dear Brothers and Sisters,
CREATION IS ZERO, CREATOR IS THE
HERO
I welcome you all to this
morning’s satsang. This is the first for the year 2004. I am sure
that you must have known the importance of yesterday. For those who do not
know, I will say a few words about it. Yesterday we observed a special
festival celebrated in this country, by the name Vaikuntha Ekadasi.
What does it mean? Here are a few thoughts on it:
That which is not divided,
rather that which is undivided, is Vaikuntha. We translate
Vaikuntha into English as ‘paradise’ or ‘heaven’, but that is not an
in-depth translation. That is just a common verbal translation. But actual
‘vaikuntha’ is that which is not divided, non-dual, and which is a
state of experience. Vaikuntha does not necessarily mean the
paradise of our epics. It is not necessarily the heaven of our knowledge.
Vaikuntha is neither heaven nor a paradise. Vaikuntha is a
state of experience, which is blissful and non-dual. Vaikuntha is
the first part.
The second part is
Ekadasi. In Sanskrit, dasa means number ten; eka means
one. In number ten, one is eka. I think I am clear. So, in dasa,
the number one is God. This means God is the Hero, while the rest is zero!
Dasa, Ekadasa. So, in this number dasa, the number
one (eka) is the Creator, and the number zero is creation. Creation
is zero, while the Creator is the Hero.
Repeatedly, Bhagavan has
said, “One zero has no value, two zeros is just nonsense, three zeros is
madness. Any number of zeros is of no use at all. Once you put one and
zero, you get ten. Then one with two zeros is hundred; one with three
zeros is a thousand. With one, all these zeros find their value.
Similarly, in dasa (ten), eka (the one) will give value to
the zero. God is the One who gives value to this creation, which is zero.”
So, yesterday’s celebration
Vaikuntha Ekadasi means the realisation of the importance of the
Hero, God. We also need to understand that we are zeros, that we get our
value only because of the Hero. That is the significance of yesterday’s
celebration called Vaikuntha Ekadasi.
STORY BEHIND VAIKUNTHA EKADASI
The story, as per the epics,
goes like this: The ocean was churned. The ocean of milk was churned. Out
of the churned ocean of milk arose nectar or what is called amrita.
This amrita was distributed to the angels. That’s how the story
goes. The churning of the ocean of milk brought about the distribution of
amrita to all the angels. That marks the day of Vaikuntha
Ekadasi.
Bhagavan Baba, our latest
God, takes us to the depth of the celebration. He conveys to us the
inner significance.
TRANSLATION IS AN ARTIFICIAL ATTEMPT
In English, amrita is
‘nectar’, but that does not convey its depth. Sanskrit words are so deep
and profound that they cannot be translated into other languages. Just to
give you an example, it is like showing the moon with our fingers. We
carry our grandson in our arms outside to show him the moon. We point our
fingers in between the branches of a tree, saying, “There is the moon,
there is the moon in the sky!” Actually, it is not there. Right!
Just as we indicate to our
grandson the position of the moon there in the sky, by pointing between
the branches of a tree, we also indicate just superficial meanings of
certain words in our translation of Sanskrit. I do not think that I can
convey the meaning in-depth, because I do not know Sanskrit. Nor would
anybody be able to do it as every language has its own freshness and
uniqueness. Once any language is translated into another language, fifty
percent of the charm is gone. After all, plastic surgery is plastic
surgery. Original beauty is original beauty. (Laughter)
Original teeth are different
from dentures (Laughter). Listening with the natural ear is
different from earphones. Similarly, translation is just an artificial
attempt. I know my limitations. That’s why many times I falter, fumble and
stand corrected, to your amusement. (Laughter) When that happens, I
am also quite happy about it. Yes! In the midst of seriousness, when the
translation is corrected, it makes everybody laugh. It is a healthy break.
(Laughter) Good. Why not!
SIGNIFICANCE OF VAIKUNTHA EKADASI
Amrita
is nectar, but Bhagavan gives us the meaning in a different sense.
Anruta means falsehood and to utter lies. Amrita means absolute
truth. Now Bhagavan interprets it like this: Amrita, the truth, was
distributed to the angels because they had fallen from the path of
amrita and were treading along the path of anruta or falsehood. So, if anyone is treading along the path of falsehood, unreality, untruth, illusion or delusion, God ‘distributes’ the path of reality, the path of light, the path of knowledge, the path of wisdom. In other words:
Lead us from untruth to Truth.
Lead us from darkness to Light.
Lead us from death to Immortality.
Tamasoma
Jyotir Gamaya
Mruthyorma
Amritam Gamaya
EVERY MOMENT IS VAIKUNTHA EKADASI IN PRASANTHI NILAYAM
Now you may be wondering,
“Why not celebrate it here?” Etiquette may make you remain silent, but I
am sure most of you must be entertaining this thought. “Why is there no
celebration of this festival in Prasanthi Nilayam?” I request all of you
to hear me attentively.
Why? When Vaikuntha
Ekadasi is celebrated all over the country, why not here? Here, this
festival is not just a special celebration of one day. Distribution of
amrita, meaning distribution of truth, distribution of reality, is
done day-in and day-out here, not necessarily or specially on Vaikuntha
Ekadasi day only! (Applause)
Therefore, everyday is
Ekadasi. Everyday, every occasion, every moment, every minute, every
second is Vaikuntha Ekadasi. The distribution of amrita --
the path of reality, the path of wisdom, is shown to us in Bhagavan’s
conversations and Bhagavan’s gestures. Swami says Vaak-amritha
means the amrita of the discourse, the amrita of the Divine
conversation, the nectar of the Divine dialogue. When that is happening
all the time, what is the fun of celebration on a special day? That’s how
I understand it.
As I wanted to draw your
attention to some of these important points, I chose to begin my talk with
these comments and observations. We pray to be benefited by this
Vaak-amritha, the Divine nectar, the Divine dialogue, and the
nectarine discourse, that they may lead us all from untruth to Truth. May
we all get out of the darkness of ignorance and come into the light of
wisdom! May we all get out of this death and move towards Immortality!
THERE IS NO BIRTH OR DEATH
My friends, before I say
more, I want to say that there is no death at all because there is no
birth. I may sound nonsensical. Some may even suspect that I am from a
mental asylum! I am not. (Laughter). At least, not at this moment!
(Laughter)
There is no birth; there is
no death! How can I say that? The five elements around, the five basic
elements, take a concretised form, take a crystallised, definite name and
form, in the form of the body. Body is nothing but the surrounding
concretised five elements. The five elements are precipitated,
crystallised and centred in a finite way, in a limited form. That is the
body. That’s what we call ‘birth’. Birth is followed by growth. Growth is
followed by decay. Decay is followed by death.
So, what do we mean by
death? While alive concentrated, at death the five elements would go back
to their sources. The air there will be merged into the air around. The
fire there will go back to the fire element. The water here will go back
to the water, and so on. That’s all. So, the appearance of the body is birth, while the disappearance of the body is death. But you and I do not die. We don’t die! That’s all. We appear in the physical form after ‘birth’. When we no longer appear in the physical form, it is called ‘death’. Only ‘I’ remains. ‘I’ is eternal. ‘I’, when referring to the body, is temporary. ‘I’, when used to refer to the mind, is ego.
IMMORTALITY IS KILLING ONE’S EGO
Punarapi
Jananam Punarapi Maranam.
Once I am convinced and I
have experienced that I am not the mind, oh! Then, what am I? I am
the soul, I am the spirit, I am the consciousness, I am the awareness, I
am eternal, I am immortal. Then the cycle of birth and death is cut off.
The link is gone. That is amrita or Immortality.
In a sentence, I can say
that Immortality is nothing but killing of one’s own ego. I think I am
clear. The killing of the ego is Immortality. Who is going to kill my ego?
I can call somebody to kill
me (my body), but he won’t do it because he will be put behind bars. I can
call somebody to kill my mind, but he won’t do it because he will get it
back. To kill my mind means to insult me, praise me or make me a monkey.
The one who goes by the vagaries of the mind, the one gets elated,
depressed, frustrated by the ups and downs, the bumps and jumps, is just a
monkey in human form. So, come on, if you say you can play with my mind,
it only means that you can make a beautiful demonstration of the jumps of
the monkey! I am not prepared. No! The present form is enough! Why another
extra (monkey) form? (Laughter). So, I won’t allow myself to be
played upon.
I am not the mind. I am not
the body either. If I think I am the body, you can torture this body -
slash, lash, whip it, and make it out of shape. If I think I am the body,
you can handle it. If I think I am the mind, you can manage it. But I am
really the spirit, soul or Atma, which you cannot touch or manage.
This real ‘I’ is independent! But so long as I think I am the body,
anybody can manage me.
“Oh, Anil Kumar! You are
very handsome.”
“Is that so? (Laughter)
Have you come to know that this morning? What happened to you all these
years?” (Laughter)
Somebody else may say, “Anil
Kumar! We are very sorry. You were better last year.”
“Oh I see. Am I so awful
this year? Then I don’t want to meet you this afternoon, okay? (Laughter)
Instead I will look for somebody who will at least praise me!” (Laughter)
If somebody says, “There is
no change in you!”
“Is that so? I feel happy.”
(Laughter)
How can there be
changelessness? There is bound to be change. If anyone says there has been
no change; that is bogus. (Laughter) There is bound to be change.
You may not be able to know. You may not be able to see it with the eyes.
Change is not that glaring, not that awful so as to be seen on the face. I
think I am clear. So, I am not the body to be commented upon. I am not the
mind to be played with. I am the spirit or the soul, which is not in your
hands. You cannot play with that. Why?
The spirit in me, the
Atma in me, is very much the same in you. You cannot play with your
Self. I am yet to see anybody who will say, “I am awful.” Nobody will say
that. I have yet to come across a person who says, “I am a useless
fellow.” Though in reality he is useless, he would not admit it! (Laughter)
No one wants to humiliate himself. No one would like to condemn one’s
Self.
The Self in you is very much
the same as the Self in me. The being in you is very much the same as the
being in me. The conscience exists in you as it exists in me. The
conscience in all of us is equal to consciousness. This consciousness is
the same in everybody. Therefore, no one would condemn one’s own Self.
Once I know that I am
consciousness, the very core of life, the very being, there is neither
birth nor death. Death happens only to the body. It is the body that is
born; it is the body that dies. So long as I feel I am the mind, yes,
birth and rebirth continue. Mind is like a tape recorder with all kinds of
songs and sounds. Mind is like a computer, with all the material fed into
it – good and bad. This mind is responsible for the body to come again and
again. Once I am convinced that I am neither the body nor the mind, that I
am the deep spirit or being in me, then that is the state of Immortality.
One does not have to die for that.
Killing one’s own ego is the
way. How to kill one’s ego? Some say meditation is the way to kill the
ego. “Well, sir, I do not know how to meditate. However, there are many
people who will show several methods to meditate. Some charge, some are
free of cost. (Laughter) Some offer training classes, some say you
are unfit to meditate. (Laughter) Oh God, what shall I do?”
Then there is the path of love. The path of love and the path of meditation are equal. The rupee is the currency in India, while the dollar is the currency in America; but both are currency, that’s all. The path of love and the path of meditation are one and the same.
QUALITIES OF A LOVING MAN
“I don’t know how to love.”
I see. Trees can love.
Animals can love. If you cannot love, something is wrong with you. Right
from childhood, the child starts loving the mother. The child starts
loving his or her brothers and sisters. As the child grows, he starts
loving friends. Then he gets married to his better half, and loves his
wife and all the relatives. When employed, he starts making friends with
the colleagues in the office. He loves his own country. So, we are born
with the quality of love.
Nobody can say, “How to
love?” Nobody would say, “Where is love?” No! Love is the very centre of
our life. Once we practice loving unconditionally, yes, that kills our
ego. How to kill the ego? Only by loving! By hating, you cannot kill your
ego. By hating somebody, your ego grows more and more. If there is enmity,
yes, ego will grow all the more. Then you are manicuring or feeding your
ego. Enmity, apathy, hatred, and jealousy -- they all feed the ego. Who is
jealous? The egoistic man is jealous. Who is envious? The egoistic man is
envious. Who is proud? The egoistic man is proud.
Who is humble? A loving man
is humble. Who is friendly? A man of love is friendly. Who co-operates? A
loving man does. So, all noble qualities are centred in this four-letter
word: LOVE. Once this path of
love is there, ego is naturally gone. When I love you, it means that I see
a quality in you that I want. You have a quality that I lack. Or, it could
mean that our qualities are compatible, so I love you. I think I am clear.
When you start loving, you lose your separateness, you lose your identity
and you lose your ego. That egolessness is love. That path of love is
Immortality.
Although we say we love, in
reality, we do not love. No! Why? We like the idea of being in love. We
are happy thinking that we are loving; yet we do not love. Again, you may
think that something is wrong with Anil Kumar. (Laughter) ‘He said
a moment back that there is no birth and no death, and now he says that I
don’t love anybody. What’s all this?’ My friends, let us analyse this.
We don’t love anybody. We
think that we love someone else. We like the idea of being in love,
similar to the Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. William
Shakespeare wrote a beautiful comedy, Twelfth Night. In it, there
is a rogue by the name of Duke Orsino. Duke Orsino feels very happy with
the idea of being in love. We are very much like him.
Why? We are not prepared to
love because love is dangerous. ‘Is that so?’ Yes! We are not prepared to
really love because it is death to our ego. We stray away from love
because it is a kind of suicide. We have no idea of real love because it
leads to the death of our ego. Why? Is love such a torture? Yes, it is!
When I start loving, I should necessarily lose my ego. However, I am not
prepared to lose my ego. I say, “Helloooo,” but that hello comes
out of a mountain of ego! I like you, but that liking comes out of my ego.
In reality, that is not real love.
BE LIKE THE FLUTE OF LORD KRISHNA
Love comes out of emptiness.
When you are empty, you can love. It is like being a bamboo stick.
Shepherds loved Jesus Christ because they had emptied themselves. A
devotee loves God because he has emptied himself. The unlettered girls of
Brindavan, whom we call gopis, loved Krishna because they remained
empty. Shepherds loved Christ because they were empty. I love him, but I
am not empty. Understand? So, Love means getting oneself emptied, being
totally empty.
Last night, I was talking to
a Telugu-speaking brother. I gave him this example: The flute adorned the
Divine Lips of Lord Krishna. Through the beautiful instrument of the
flute, Krishna breathes and makes it play the Divine melody. The Divine
melody is heard through this instrument of the flute. Many cowherd girls
or gopis were interested to know the secret behind it. When Krishna
was found asleep with the flute just dropped on the ground by Him, the
gopis came close to the flute.
They said, “How lucky you
are! We just have a glimpse of Krishna. That’s all. How lucky you are to
be on the lips of Krishna! Aha! He breathes into you! Abba… How
lucky you are! What good fortune have you done in the past? What merit did
you earn in past lives? Dear flute let us know the secret behind it. How
did you love Krishna? You must have an incessant, strong, fathomless,
depth of love for Krishna that made Him keep you on His lips.” The flute starts laughing, “O fool! I have not done anything! You are also as much a flute as myself. I have nine holes, so do you. (Laughter) With all nine holes, I am a bamboo stick -- empty, hollow inside, while you are full of arrogance, hatred, avarice and what not. Make yourself empty; then you will also play."
EGO IS VERY SUBTLE
My friends, we are not
prepared for that. We approach others with no love at all. In the very
introduction itself we say, “I am the conveyor, you know that?”
“Why should I know that you
are the conveyor?” (Laughter)
“I have been coming here for
the last fifteen years?”
“I am not a service
register, so why should I know?”
We take every opportunity to
speak of ourselves. So long as this sense of I-ness, so long as the trace
of ‘mine’ is there, that is a silent, subtle ego.
Or, one may have the
humility of ego. He has an ego, which expresses silently in some form or
other. “Have you heard about the great Sai centre that did so many
activities? I belong to that centre.”
“So what?” (Laughter)
It is the ego, that’s all. The more we want to drive out the ego, the more
it gets in silently, secretly and unnoticed.
Suppose I have a pet cat. I
love my pet and offer it milk. In turn, the pet loves me equally. One day,
totally fed up with it, I drive it out, sent it out of the home. Then
suddenly, I find it jumping in through the window or getting in through
the back door. Though I want to drive it out, it finds its own entry back
in.
Similarly, the more particular you are to remove ego, the more particular it is to get back in. It is not just the property of this life. Instead, we have accrued it over the past hundreds of lives, with interest and compound interest! (Laughter) Like the sea and the Himalayas, it cannot be annihilated; it cannot be removed all of a sudden.
EGO IS KILLED BY CHOICELESS AWARENESS
With ego, you cannot love.
This is a fundamental, basic principle. With ego, you cannot love; it is
only lust. It is only attachment. It is only courtesy. It is only
etiquette. It is only formal. It is only branded as ‘good manners’, like
being respectful and being dignified in society. But, actual love, that is
spiritual love, exists only where there is no ego.
To remove ego is very
painful and scorching. To lose my ego, I have to suffer excruciating pain.
I want recognition; I want prestige; I want compliments; I want to be
felicitated; I want some status. So, how do we lose all that?
I am not telling the truth
when I say, “I love you.” No, because there is ego in me. How to ‘kill’
ego? The only way to kill ego is to be conscious of one’s own awareness.
To kill ego is to develop the spirit of surrender, or I can say, to
develop choiceless awareness.
Choiceless awareness is a
beautiful word, which I want you to remember. Choiceless awareness is the
way to kill the ego. It is the way to develop the spirit of Love. What is
choicelessness?
“I love Baba, if He talks to
me (Laughter) and everyone in Kulwant Hall notices. (Laughter)
When Swami is talking to somebody, I stretch my neck like a giraffe, to
steal his opportunity, to grab his fortune and respond on behalf of the
other fellow, with whom Swami is speaking.” This is ego.
“Swami, I love You very
much, provided I get a promotion, a suitable son-in-law, and clearance
from the government for the new business which I am starting.” (Laughter)
That is not choicelessness. It is full of choices. But, love is choiceless.
True love is choiceless!
“Oh God, I love You, come
what may! What is happening here in my life has nothing to do with the
romance between You and me. There is a Divine Romance going on, Oh God,
between You and me. This romance has nothing to do with results.”
I love my son, whether he
gets through the examination or successfully fails the examination. (Laughter)
His passing or his failure has nothing to do with love. I love him as a
son, is it not so?
I love my parents,
irrespective of anything. They may satisfy my demands, or they may say
‘no’ to certain requests; yet, I love them. Is it not so? So, it is love
for love’s sake. Choicelessness is love. Choicelessness is prayer.
Choicelessness is religion. That choiceless awareness is the way to kill
ego.
Unless ego is killed, we
cannot love people in the true sense. Suppose you say that you love me and
expect me tomorrow morning at 10 o’clock. “Mr. Anil Kumar, would you meet
me in the morning at 10 o’clock?”
Suppose I don’t come there
at 10 o’clock. In the evening, I should be ready to face the music. (Laughter)
Why? Your love is conditional. Because I have not turned up, because I
have not kept my promise, because I have not appeared at the appointed
time, all your love has transformed into vapour. (Laughter) How can
we call that love?
Therefore, my friends, the
so-called love we express is not at all true love. We are not loving
people, but we like the idea of loving people. That’s all! The husband
thinks that the wife loves him. The wife thinks the husband loves her.
When they say ‘no’ to each other, we will find them in the court, ready
for separation! (Laughter) What happened to this love? Can I say
love at all? No! She is egoistic, while this fellow is an incarnation of
ego. (Laughter)
Therefore, love that is
conditional, love that is full of preferences and choices, cannot be love
in spirit. To kill one’s own ego is very painful. Therefore my friends,
love without ego is true love. Egolessness is love in spirit!
KILLING THE EGO IS TORTUROUS
To kill one’s own ego is
torture. To kill one’s own ego is painful.
Everyday, I am used to
sitting in the first row. If a seva dal volunteer wants me to sit
in the third row, I feel lost. Third row isn’t enough. I sit there in the
first row as if that place was registered for me, as if I was born to sit
in there! In truth, thousands have occupied that place. Now they are no
more. And soon, I am going to join that list! (Laughter) We have
left our properties; we have left our families; but we are not prepared to
leave our seats! (Laughter) First row, that’s all! (Laughter)
Yet, the Holy Bible says,
“The first on earth will be the last in heaven.” (Laughter)
Clearly, the Holy Bible says that the first-of-the-first on earth will be
the last-of-the-last, if not the least, in heaven. It is speaking
figuratively. It is a literary statement, which means that we should not
struggle to be first because love is natural. Love is not a struggle.
Without ego, love becomes a matter of pleasure. Love is a lovely dream.
Love is nectarine.
Love is eternal, if I kill
my ego. But killing the ego is painful. That’s why, my friends, love is
death. Love is a spiritual death because killing of one’s own ego is as
painful as death, as excruciatingly painful as death itself.
This morning, my friends, my
special appeal to everyone, including this self here, is to cross out this
ego as early as possible. The greatest obstacle between God and me is this
ego. That’s all. Seva dals are not obstacles. (Laughter) The
tenth row, the fifteenth row, or the few rows in front of me are not the
barriers. The biggest of the barriers, the worst of the obstacles, is my
own mind, my own ego. The sooner I remove it, the sooner will I find my
own reflection in God. God sees Himself in me. That is the culmination of
the Divine Romance.
Once the Divine Romance of
being together happens, you are with your Beloved. There starts the cosmic
dance. The cosmic dance is Nataraja. Or you hear Krishna in the cosmic
dance with the cowherd girls at Brindavan. Rasaleela is the cosmic
dance of Krishna in the company of the cowherd girls. Is it a dance that
we can think of at the terrestrial level? No! It is a cosmic dance, a
dance celestial. The dance celestial is the individual, being one with the
Divine. The cosmic dance, rasaleela, is the unity of jeeva
with Deva, the individual with the whole. The individual, being
with the whole, is rasaleela.
DON’T CONDEMN YOURSELF FOR YOUR PAST
All my suffering, all my
pain, is because I think I am a separate entity. When I think I am not
separate, I am with the whole! Once you are with the whole, you are full.
That’s egolessness. Egolessness is nothing but the experience of being one
with the whole. It is an absence of separateness, an absence of identity.
Then I am fit for the cosmic
dance. Then I am one with God and the Divine Romance. If at all I am going
to be romantic, let me be romantic with God Himself. If at all I am going
to have a beloved, let me have God as ever Beloved. Why? Because He and I
are One.
Everybody loves one’s own
self. I have not seen anyone who hates his own self. “Well, I hate myself,
Mr. Anil Kumar.”
“Better you consult a
psychiatrist.” (Laughter)
My friends, the one who
cannot love one’s own self cannot love anybody. The one who cannot respect
one’s own self cannot respect anybody. The one who cannot excuse himself
cannot excuse anybody. There are even people who derive great joy in
condemning themselves.
“You know, Anil Kumar, how
bad I was before coming to Bhagavan?”
“You say you are
transformed; you say you were not that good before. You are ashamed of it,
so why do you want to repeat it?” This replay of past actions is not
necessary. Yet, he does it because he feels happy in condemning himself.
“You know how angry I was
then?”
“I see. I can imagine that
you must have been a buffalo.” (Laughter)
“You may know how
prestigious I was.”
“Now you are no longer. You
have gone into history.”
Why do you always think of
the past? My friends this sort of getting into the past is a sign of ego.
“I may be sitting in the
temple today, but in my office, I am the chief executive!”
So what! (Laughter)
This is ego, a show is ego, an advertisement is ego. Priding one’s own
self is ego. Jubilation, elation and frustration are ego; whereas to be
equal-minded, to be equanimous, or to go beyond is egolessness is a sign
of real Love.
LOVE IS A STATE BEYOND DUALITY
So, what is Love? Love is a
state that is beyond happiness and unhappiness. Love is a state beyond
positivity and negativity. Love is a state beyond life affirmative and
life negative. Are we really in possession of that Love? I do not think
so. Because Love is blissful, it will show on the face. I cannot say, “I
love you,” sourly. OK! (Laughter)
Love is not seriousness.
Have you ever observed Bhagavan with a serious face? Bhagavan acts to be
serious. We act to smile. That is the difference. We act to smile, while
He acts to be serious! We are comfortable with our seriousness, because
then nobody will seek a favour from us. (Laughter) We can always be
held in prestige, in dignity and status if we maintain seriousness. We are
comfortable with our seriousness until we are totally sick in the
hospital. This seriousness takes us to the hospital, (Laughter)
while bliss will make us eternal. Smiling will make us healthy;
seriousness will make us sick.
God is blissful. God is
Bliss. Bliss is God. What is that bliss? There may be fifty thousand
people for birthday; there may be twenty-five thousand people for
Christmas; there may be only five thousand people on other days; there may
be only twenty people in Kodaikanal; or there may be half-a-dozen in the
Poonachandra Hall where He stays. Yet, He remains ever blissful. Half a
dozen, twenty, twenty thousand or fifty thousand, He is always blissful!
This won’t happen to us.
When there are huge crowds to hear my talk, abba, bliss at its
zenith! When the whole hall is empty, I feel like committing suicide. (Laughter)
Numbers outside affect me. I am affected by the response from outside. But
God is not affected by numbers. No! He is attracted by the quality, not by
the quantity. He is not bothered about your response.
My friends, I do not know
how many of you are familiar with a statement made by Bhagavan: “I am not
interested in what I am telling you. I am not interested in what I am
saying to you.”
“Oh, I see. You are not
interested? (Laughter) When You are not interested, how should I be
interested? Why?” (Laughter)
Swami’s answer is so simple!
Let that answer ring in your ears over the year 2004. What did He say?
“I am not interested in what
I am telling you. I am not interested in what I am saying to you. I am
interested in what is happening in you.”
“I am interested in what is
happening in you,” means transformation should happen, reform should
happen. You should regret and you should repent for not having been close
to Him. You have not yet gotten to the top of Self-inquiry. That strong
inner desire has not yet stepped into your life. Baba is interested in
what is happening within us, not what we hear outside.
Somebody was saying, “Swami
said this about charity. Swami said that one should be charitable. Swami
said that one should sacrifice.”
I said slowly and silently,
“My brother, I too heard His talk.”
Swami’s words, Swami’s
discourses, are not to be praised. Who are you to praise His discourse? (Laughter)
You have to practice. Sai messages are not for praise. They are for
practice. Unless we walk along the path of Jesus, we shall not
reach the state of heaven. Unless we walk along the path of Sathya Sai’s
Divine discourses, we shall not get into the gates of heaven. It is
impossible to experience that paradise. It is impossible to experience
that state of heaven. It is impossible to think of amrita, the
Immortality.
GOD TALKS SO THAT WE MAY BE SILENT
So, amrita, the
Immortality, is the experience of His teachings, is the
experience of His words in our daily lives. Moreover, my friends, why
does God talk? He talks so that we may remain silent. (Laughter)
You may wonder, “Am I not
silent?” No!
You appear silent by holding
your lips tight or by refraining from talk, but there are thoughts and
counter thoughts because the brain has become an open market. (Laughter)
It’s a market like the Connaught Place in Delhi or the China Bazaar or the
Pondy Bazaar. The brain is a workshop. It is thinking, “I am going to meet
that person. How do I encounter him? If that person says this, what should
I say? If Swami comes this way how can I get in?”
He won’t come in any way! (Laughter)
All our planning, all our management, all our manoeuvring, all our
manipulation goes on and on. The cassette is played and replayed again and
again, wind and rewind. Can I say that I am silent? No! If you are really
silent, your face will be happy. Watch those people who are in silence:
watch those faces that are full of tension and hypertension. Their high
blood pressure makes them look like they are ready to collapse at any
moment. (Laughter) That is not the sign of silence.
Just look at the pictures of
Christ. Nobody photographed Jesus on the cross. His image is all in the
imagination of the painter. The painter had a revelation within himself.
When you pray to God, you become a painter. If you are a painter, God gets
into your brush and you start painting Jesus. Yes! Jesus is right over
there.
If you are a writer and if
you pray, God gets into your words. Gods gets into your pen; then comes
the poetry. Poetry occurs when God takes charge of your writing. When God
does not take charge of your writing, it is only a verse; it is prosaic.
Once God takes charge of you, the prose becomes poetry. When God possesses
you, a line becomes a picture. When God blesses you, a dancer becomes a
super dancer, a cosmic dancer, a divine dancer.
So, my friends, God is our
poetry. God is our melody. God is our heaven. God is our paradise. God is
our dance. That is Love! It can happen provided I-ness is gone, provided
the ego is totally forgotten.
This year 2004 should be
full of attempts, repeated attempts, to kill our ego, delete our ego,
demolish our ego, so that we can have the vision of the Divine, so that we
can peep into our own image and we can see our own selves in Bhagavan. I
can see my own image in Him. He can see His own image in me. Bhagavan sees
His own image in all of us. Therefore, He loves all. As I don’t see my own
image in Him, I feel apart from Him, I feel separated from Him. When I see
that He is separate, I am here.
So, coming straight to the
point my friends, God talks so that we may be silent!
LOVE IS EGOLESSNESS
Therefore, my friends, once
I am totally faithful, there are no thoughts whatsoever. Then I am really
silent. When I am really silent, God need not speak. God need not speak
because He is not separate. I have found He and I being One -- that His
being is my being. God, as a being, is total. God, as a being, is seen in
totality. God, as a person, just talks with you.
My friends, let us first
understand that true Love is silence. If one goes on speaking, “I love
you, I love you”, it is not a mantra to be repeated. (Laughter)
The more you say, “I love you,” I can understand the hidden enmity within
you, the hidden prejudice in you, that you want to settle scores with me
some day, as you say, “I love you.” You need not say it. Your actions will
speak of the depth of love. Love is not told. Love is silence. Love is
truth. Love is tremendous. Love is egolessness. Love is painful. Love is
risky. It is risky because we may have to appreciate that the other man is
better than us, which we are not prepared to do.
Therefore, time and again,
Bhagavan speaks of Love. Certainly He is aware that He is speaking on the
same theme. People ask me, “Why does Swami speaks of Love every time, all
these seventy years? Is He not fed up with Love?” (Laughter)
He is not fed up with Love
because He is Love. How can He be fed up with Himself? (Laughter)
Impossible! Sugar cannot choose to be sour or bitter. Sugar continues to
be sweet. Because He is Love, He is not fed with Himself. He speaks of
Himself, Love. That’s all. When He speaks of Love, He is speaking of
Himself.
“All right let Him speak to
Himself. Why should He speak to me?”
He speaks to me because I do
not know what Love is. I mistake something else for Love. I like the idea
of being in love. I do not know that true Love is egolessness; that true
Love is not simply humility. Love is not a bargain. Love is not a
compromise. Love is not a business deal. Love is supreme. Love is Divine.
Until we understand, He goes
on bringing it to us, hammering into us what Love means. This rock is so
hard that it refuses to be chiselled, polished, and made into a beautiful
idol. It remains a boulder. It remains a stone, indifferent. Therefore, He
goes on chiselling me. He goes on playing with me with a hammer until I am
shaped into an idol of egolessness, of total and unconditional surrender,
which is a mark of Love.
My friends, I do not know
how, but Swami wanted me to say these words this morning. I am also part
of this game. I don’t consider myself separate from anybody. Let Bhagavan
help each of us to reflect within ourselves.
As a body, Bhagavan is
breathing through me. As a mind, Bhagavan is thinking through me. As an
intellect, Bhagavan is helping me to meditate on Him. As a being, He and I
are One. That should be the next rung in the ladder of spiritual life or
religion, for that matter.
At different levels, let us
develop the spirit of awareness – that choiceless awareness, alertness,
and wakefulness, full of understanding of what He has said. Let us remain
silent, so that we can love Him more. Let us remain silent so that we can
realise Truth. Let us remain silent to experience Peace. Truth and Peace
are just manifestations of the Divine.
In the days to come, may
Bhagavan bless all of us. Thank you very much. (Applause)
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
I have a few questions that
I received by e-mail. I shall try to answer them as quickly as possible
because they don’t need long answers. They were kind enough to have asked
me short questions. OK!
Q. “Why does Swami stare
at His devotees during car darshan? It happened to me twice.”
Swami staring at you has
become a trouble here! (Laughter) Swami not staring at you
has become a trouble elsewhere! (Laughter) “Why is Swami looking at
me?” is my problem. “Why is Swami not looking at me?” is another
man’s problem! So, what should He do now? Look at you or not look? (Laughter)
Swami looking at you is an
act of mercy. Swami staring at you is an act of grace. Swami staring at
you is an act of compassion. Swami staring at you is recognition. “Hi! How
are you?” He does that so you do not feel ignored.
Swami staring at you also
can mean, “I know what you are doing. I also know what you are doing
elsewhere!” (Laughter)
Or, “How saintly you are,
how simple within! I know it all!”
Depending upon the
individual, this staring has its own interpretation. Suppose a person is
feeling neglected, as Swami has not looked at him. He feels horrible…oh
la la! (Laughter) “What have I come all this way for, oh Lord?
I am crying; I am desperate!”
Then when He stares at you,
it is something like a shower of rain on hot summer. We welcome rain. When
the raindrops touch the soil, there we find beauty. When Swami looks at
you a feeling comes, which is beyond words, beyond narration, beyond all
estimation, beyond all parameters and known measures.
Suppose Swami stares at you
while you are thinking, “Oh Bhagavan, I am in deep problems! I am in
trouble. I do not know what to do and what not to do. Bhagavan, right now
I do not have mental peace.” When He stares at you, He is sending forth
the fountain of peace, the fountain of joy.
Suppose I am full of
complaints inside. “Swami, I deserve a better deal than what You are
giving me! (Laughter) I should be given a higher post. Don’t You
know that much? The present post You have given me is so low.” The heart
is full of complaints, but I smile outside because society demands it. Let
not others think that I am not a devotee. (Laughter) I want others
to think that I am also a devotee, so I smile while having all sorts of
complaints inside.
In that case, Swami stares
at the inner complaint, and wonders at the outer smile! God looks into the
inner, not the outer. That’s what His staring means. So, God staring at
you depends upon your situation at that particular point of time.
Science can be generalised;
mathematics can be generalised; but spirituality is wholly, totally
individualistic. So I cannot interpret on somebody’s behalf. I cannot
explain on somebody’s behalf. How hungry you are, I cannot say. How
thirsty you are, I cannot say. What the particular stare you received
meant, I do not know. What is in you, I do not know.
Anyway, this way or that
way, Swami staring at us is really like moonlight. Swami staring at us is
a cool breeze. Swami staring at us is as beautiful as sunrise. Swami
staring at us is something like a cloud that passes by. It is so nice to
look at. Swami staring at us is something like a mighty ocean, full of
waves, turbulent waves. Swami staring at us is like a banquet, right in
front of us, when we are very, very hungry. Swami staring at us is like a
nice sleep that we experience after sleepless nights. It is the joy of
joys. That’s what I can say about it.
Q. “There are 120
members in a samithi and they want to organise into two groups. In one
group, there are devotees with instruments, capable of singing. In the
other group, they are not that talented. What should we do?”
(Laughter)
My friends, we don’t go
there just for music, do we? If it is for music, there are casinos
elsewhere; (Laughter) there are restaurants elsewhere; there is pop
music elsewhere, calling for attention like Michael Jackson’s music. Why
not, (Laughter) right?
We go to a centre for peace.
You are thinking, “Because a Sai centre has more singers, let me not go
there.” It is not the singing that is important; it is the meaning of the
song. So long you think of the singer, you are a sinner. (Laughter)
When you speak of a song, yes, you are Divine. You should become a song,
not a singer.
What is the difference
between a singer and a song? Singer is conscious of the people listening
to him. Singer is conscious of the previous singer. And the singer is also
thoughtful of the next singer. The singer aims to be No.1 for that
bhajan session. (Laughter) He is just an ordinary singer. But a
listener, who joins in chorus, singing in joy, not thinking of the singer
at all, thinks of the song. He becomes the song himself. That is
Divine. Be a song and not a singer.
Therefore, my friends, our
preference is not for singers and instruments. Our preference should be
towards vibration. When I am in the company of a knowledgeable man,
I feel energetic; I feel dynamic; I feel active. Suppose I am in the
company of a dunce, (Laughter), a worldly fellow, and an egoistic
fellow. After some time, I feel exhausted. He doesn’t handle me; there is
no resonance between us. Still, I feel very weak. Why? Vibrations!
Therefore, vibrations are
more important. What kind of ‘vibe’ do you get? What kind of feelings do
you get? The kind of commitment you feel is more important than the
numbers and the talent.
Q. “If death is the
dress of life, which means we should not be afraid of death, then what do
we do with the Mahamrutyunjaya mantra? Should we chant it or not?”
Mahamrutyunjaya mantra
is the mantra that is to be chanted to be deathless. The aim is
correct, but that does not mean that those who chant the
Mahamrutyunjaya mantra will never die. (Laughter) In the
beginning, I said that we never die because we were never born. As I was
never born, who is going to die? Nobody! When there is no birth, there is
no death.
Therefore, my friends,
Mrutyunjaya mantra will help you to know that your consciousness or
your spirit is deathless. It is not insurance for your body to be eternal!
(Laughter) Even if our body were eternal, it would be useless. It
would be a curse because we could not walk, we could not eat and we could
not sit. We would have to lie down like a vegetable. Would you like
eternity like that? (Laughter) No, I don’t want it. So long as I am
alive, I want to be active and I want to be smart. Let me go to the other
world like this and not totally bed-ridden.
Therefore, the
Mrutyunjaya mantra helps you to know the Divinity within. It also
ensures that there is no untimely death. When the flight is to be there at
12 o’clock in the afternoon, if the flight reaches two hours earlier, at
10 o’clock, we are not happy because we expected it to arrive there at
12:00 noon.
There may be some people who
get ‘promoted’ even before. When God has granted a hundred years of life
to some, others die at a young age. Well, they have already reached their
destination. Mrutyunjaya mantra is chanted so that there would be
no untimely death. It is chanted to know eternity, not to remain
deathless. A second-hand body would be hopeless. It is not worth it. (Laughter)
Q. “Why has Swami
recently begun Vedic chanting? Is there a particular reason why this is
done at this particular time? Music can have a great pacifying influence
on people.”
Others may have questions
like this. Sometime back, Swami had only music programs. The music college
students, little fellows, used to sit and sing daily. Why did no one ask
this question then, “Why is there music everyday?” It is only a question
today: “Why Veda now?” (Laughter)
My friends, the first thing
we have to do is to forget this question, “Why?” Let us forget this
question of why. “Why should He call you? Why not me? Why should you get
an interview? Why not me? Why should you be given a ring? Why not me?”
‘Why’ should be forgotten!
‘Why’ is worldly; ‘why not’ is worldly. Acceptance is surrender, and
spirituality calls for total acceptance.
As far as our thought can
stretch forward, Veda chanting may be required more than ever
before. If you go through the newspaper and watch TV, you know why the
chanting is in great demand. Individually, we are not at peace. In our
family, we are not at peace. In our community, we are not at peace. At the
level of the world, there is no peace. Therefore, there needs to be a
process of correcting or overhauling us, in order to control the body and
mind. Vedic chanting is a process of overhauling.
Q. “In this time, what
is the most healing music for the western over-stressed and disturbed
mind? Could singing a mantra or reciting one be more beneficial?
A disturbed mind is
disturbed whether it is a western mind or eastern mind. (Laughter)
An agitated mind is agitated whether it is an eastern mind or western
mind. A peaceful mind is in peace whether it is eastern or western.
Eastern or western is geographical. It is not that eastern are human and
western are super-human. It is enough if we are not demons! (Laughter)
The so-called eastern or
western is only geographical. Some people from the east may settle in the
west. Tell me, are they eastern or western? (Laughter) Or, some
from the west may settle in the east. East and west are only directions.
Let us not be bothered about it. No!
Q. “Why can’t we sing
Sanskrit songs? Why sing some other songs? The world council has sent a
circular that we should sing in our own language.”
I am glad that at least you
want to sing Sanskrit bhajans or bhajans in your own
language. Good! That’s at least a positive attitude. My friends, it is not
the language that matters because there is only one language: the language
of the heart. It is important whether you are singing with your heart, not
whether you are singing in Telugu or Sanskrit. No, no, no! God knows all
languages.
I don’t believe it is out of
context if I tell you a note from my personal life. I was talking to my
father and said, “Daddy, I am sorry that I don’t know Sanskrit.”
He said, “God knows your
Telugu and English. It is enough.” (Laughter)
God knows your language. In
trying to learn Sanskrit, let me not unlearn my mother tongue. My friends,
the best way is that which is spontaneous. Because I want to please God,
if I start learning Veda and start making it ugly, as awful as
possible, God will have to plug His ears. (Laughter)
A group of villagers was
granted an interview. Baba told them, “Nowadays, I am plugging my ears
with cotton because your tunes are off. Abba! I am not able to
listen! They are horrible songs because they are artificial, out of tune,
out of beat and out of rhythm.”
They wanted to sing the
glory of God in a particular pattern. God is not a pattern. God is not a
schedule. God is not a program. He cannot be put in a computer disk or on
a floppy disc. Impossible! I am sorry to say that we have become
mechanical everywhere.
At home, we are mechanical.
With God, we want to be mechanical, too. We have become machines. That’s
why our lives are dull and tasteless. We have castor oil faces (Laughter)
with no smile, machine smiles. We also refuse to smile because our life
has become mechanical.
So, my friends, the best way
to pray to God depends upon your mood at that moment: your feelings, your
emotions, your condition, your state of mind at that moment. Just be
spontaneous! Being instantaneous at that moment is prayer.
A prayer that is programmed,
a prayer that is designed, a prayer that has a pattern, is no prayer at
all. A prayer that is an outburst, a spontaneous outpouring of one’s own
heart, is prayer. Please remember that the instantaneous, spontaneous
outpouring of a human heart is a prayer; it is not repeating something
that has been said before.
Q. “The Sai organisation
is seen as a sect because of Hinduistic influence. Does Swami want to
comment on this?”
Baba is not a Hindu. Baba
is not a Christian. Baba is not a Muslim. Baba is beyond. Religion
is dogma; religion is fanatic; religion is lunatic; while religiousness is
Divine. So, if I want to talk about Baba, Baba is the combination of all
religions. Baba is the essence of all religions.
If you say it is Hinduistic,
better you stop it and do it in the way you like it. Swami wants a
Christian to be a better Christian and a Hindu to be a better Hindu. It is
not a matter of conversion. Sathya Sai is not conversion. Sathya Sai is
transformation. That’s what we have to remember.
Q. “Who is the next
Avatar?” (Laughter)
I see! (Laughter)
Have you completed the quota of the present Avatar? (Laughter)
“I don’t know” means, “I am disappointed now. I hope to meet Him in the
next Avatar.” (Laughter)
The next Avatar comes
after my present life, so let me put this question in the next life and (Laughter)
not now. My friends, these kinds of futuristic questions based on
astrology, based on the time, are meaningless spiritually-speaking.
Religion is not future. Religion is not past. Religion is here and now!
Please understand. Here and now is religion! God is here and now!
God is not the past! God is not the future! Let us not ask questions like
this.
Q. How many sons did
Shiva have? (Laughter)
I am sure not as many as I
have! (Laughter) As far as the mythological story goes, He had two
beautiful sons -- Ganesha and Subrahmanyam. But they are not the sons of
our imagination. Shiva was not human; please understand this is necessary
first to beget children. (Laughter)
We have sufficient problems
with our family and children. (Laughter) We have sons who turn out
to be prodigal. Let not Shiva also repent for begetting such sons. (Laughter)
To begin with, Shiva was not
human. Shiva is Divine. Shiva is a phenomenon. Shiva is cosmic. Shiva is
infiniteness. Shiva is vastness. It is a philosophy; it is an ideology; it
is energy; it is not human.
Then, what about the two
sons? One represents energy. The other represents fulfilment. Effort is
Subrahmanyam, the second son. Its realisation is Ganesha, the first son.
So, effort is not enough; fulfilment of effort is required. Effort is
Subrahmanyam; fulfilment of the effort is Ganesha. Human action is
Subrahmanyam; without any obstacles is Ganesha. They are different facets
of approach. They are different angles of perception. They are different
views of cognisance and experience. They are not sons in the normal sense.
That’s all for this week. Thank you very much for holding on longer than usual. I really appreciate your patience. May Bhagavan bless you!
Om Asato Maa Sad Gamaya
Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya
Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya
Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Babaji ki !
JAI! |
